Mosaic

by Identity Crisis

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1.
Mosaic 02:05
Mosaic Charles Hiestand A tile, a color, a shape, emerges figures and a story. With distance there is sense, yet each piece is nothing but a tile, a line, a color, a shape doo, doo, doo. And so she sings In this moment, I am not done with respect and admiration. And he sings As large as the night I hold you as my own In this moment. Time in proportion makes a picture of shape, color, line and tile doo doo doo, and a story.
2.
My Purpose 04:09
My Purpose Charles Hiestand My purpose is love My soul, of me My passion is Her And for mind For mind and body Her bright aspect and my emptiness are reason enough are reason enough And all alone And in my loneliness I cling to hope She might see in me Her destiny Her destiny Then set the stage with the common things of our lives where She plays and sings in divine light and bewitched, I watch in rapture How has my God my God assembled me? that my soul should show Her image My love apparent in Her visage How deep the abyss How bright the light (Fugue) How deep the abyss How bright the light The divine light Then set the stage for mind and heart with the numinous objects of our lives where She dances and sings in divine light and bewitched, I play with joy and sorrow My purpose is love My soul, of me, is Her My lover
3.
Favorite Game Melanie Fernandi Time can not change your face from fading away Words can't explain sleepwalk of everyday I can't feel our love, my tears have frozen Take me tonight I'll be gone before it's light Must have seen the sadness in my eyes Words you whispered took me by surprise Know you didn't even know my name You were just playing my favorite game Pieces of me I left with each of you Work replaced times of loneliness I feel the void closing in on me I wish your touch fill all the emptiness Must have seen the sadness in my eyes Words you whispered Know you didn't even know my name You were just playing my favorite game Ah
4.
5.
Best of Yourself Jean Mishler You can taste the strawberries that don't grow on my vine You can pick pretty flowers in a garden that ain't mine But when you come to dinner, you better be on time and save the best of yourself for me. You can drive other cars that aren't parked at my curb You can leave for three days, and I won't say a word But keep it to yourself, don't you tell that little bird and save the best of yourself for me. Save the best of yourself for holdin' me tight Save the best of yourself for the dark rainy night for when it starts to thunder, it always feels so right and save the best of yourself for me. Now, I have paid a price for wanting to stay free But this is your cost if you want to be with me Don't ever decline when invited for tea and save the best of yourself for me. Save the best of yourself for holdin' me tight Save the best of yourself for the dark rainy night for when it starts to thunder, it always feels so right and save the best of yourself save the best of yourself save the best of yourself for me.
6.
Down From Above Jean Mishler She lives her life steeped in perfection Achievements rolling off her finger tips in sweet succession. She failed her life, empty like a paper cup Pour in sugar, drink it up before it grows cold You can't tell her she's unhappy, you can't tell her she's not whole She can never get enough success to ever fill her soul In desperation she seeks it all when what she needs is love; A cup that she could drink from if she came down from above. Hard on her friends, this will come as no surprise We never were quite good enough at friendship in her eyes Perplexed we never listened in with good and perfect clarity centered around her life the way she thought we ought to be You can't tell her she's unhappy, you can't tell her she's not whole She can never get enough success to ever fill her soul In desperation she seeks it all when what she needs is love; A cup that she could drink from if she came down from above. It's a harrowing discover the planets won't spin Around you and around you at the offer of your grin People judge and disagree, they're not captives who can't flee The world around is not yours to command Place oh please, place oh please your feet upon the land. You can't tell her she's unhappy, you can't tell her she's not whole She can never get enough success to ever fill her soul In desperation she seeks it all when what she needs is love; A cup that she could drink from if she came down from above. She lives her life steeped in perfection.
7.
The Idea of You Charles Hiestand Verse 1 The idea of you terrifies me I think of your touch night and day Your perfect smile lights my imagination It's no exaggeration, I'm infatuated with you Verse 2 The idea of you leaves me awestruck Your in my mind night and day The warmth of your kiss in my memory leaves me Hungry for more, I'm famished for you Chorus But when your near me We are imperfect lovers We always argue and fight I, I am sorry But your angry And you leave me lonely I think of what might have been Verse 3 Then the idea of you floods my senses I'm back to the fantasy of you I pray and pray to love you someday The way I love the idea, the idea of you.
8.
Until 05:23
Until Charles Hiestand He's luke warm, she's as cold as ice Did we make a mistake when we ignored that advise? Now many winters on at last I am through Standing on the other side I can really see you But I can't want you I can't need you I can't love you It is not allowed They say it's not allowed My dreams were compromised by reality No one in the world could be the girl I imagined So for years I thought this is as good as it gets Then there you are again my dream in the flesh But I can't want you I can't need you I can't love you It is not allowed I hear it's not allowed Grief is bitter hope is worse My heart is unprotected a self-inflicted curse So I'll just smile and lie pretend and say that it's OK You go and do what's right but my feelings stay And so I want and I need and I love and I know and I'll be here until it is allowed
9.
Bigger Than Me Charles Hiestand And if I lose you I'm not a bit surprised The time's been coming When we'd say our last goodbyes There is no anger But my tears will not stop My heart is empty But for my love And if you lose me You haven't lost my love I'm always with you I will always be with you There is no present No future, just our past I don't regret it Only one thing that I ask To not start again Or heal all the pain Not see, talk or do Just once more be with you I want to be with you When I'm with you My love is so much bigger than me Then have I lost you? I've lost my closest friend I surrender to my sadness A hurt that cannot end There is acceptance That my tears will not stop My life is empty But for my love The world's much too small For the sadness in my heart It spills to the stars Beyond my life To every child That's lost a friend Or lover who has ever Been left alone I am alone I, I am alone When I'm without you My love is so much bigger than me So much bigger than me
10.
For The Bliss Jean Mishler Digging, digging through the past in her mind Grief abated, depths thoroughly minded Releasing the sadness itself a bitter bind For loss implies a former joy with pain is intertwined To forge the sweetness from the pain when memory's at risk To wash away the wrenching loss and save the sweetest kiss. To forgive capricious destiny with gratitude for the bliss with gratitude, with gratitude for the bliss Longing, longing for him so profound Her feet no longer knowing the feel of the ground Her youth no friend here, a very poor guide How could she have know that he had so much to hide? To forge the sweetness from the pain when memory's at risk To wash away the wrenching loss and save the sweetest kiss. To forgive capricious destiny with gratitude for the bliss with gratitude, with gratitude for the bliss Seeming, seeming not so long ago, memories fresh Yellow roses whispers in her ears, her trembling flesh His burden, now know, was to easily dismissed Ignoring children and a ring for the power of his kiss To forge the sweetness from the pain when memory's at risk To wash away the wrenching loss and save the sweetest kiss. To forgive capricious destiny with gratitude for the bliss with gratitude, with gratitude for the bliss Memory, memory in time is much more kind He was really right to have left her behind.
11.
Alexandria 03:54
Alexandria G.P. Cavafy Translated by G. Valassopoulo (poem is public domain) When at the hour of midnight An invisible choir is suddenly heard Passing with exquisite music, with voices Do not lament you fortune That at last subsides You life's work that has failed, You dreams that have proved illusions But like a man prepared Like a brave man Bid farewell to her to Alexandria, who is departing Above all do not delude yourself Do not say that it is a dream That you ear was mistaken Do not condescend to such empty hopes Like a man for long prepared Like a brave man Like to the man who was worthy of such a city Go to the window And listen with emotion Ah! Supreme rapture Listen to the notes, to the exquisite instruments of the mystic choir And bid farewell to her, to Alexandria, Alexandria whom you are losing
12.
Beyond 02:13
Beyond Charles Hiestand Beyond my dreams beyond my fears beyond my heart I remember you Transcending sense transcending hope Beyond despair I remember you Your smile, your touch your, your laughter Oh, I smell the night and taste the time, the short time that was ours Beyond our pain and all that is lost beyond forgiveness itself I remember you

about

Twelve songs in different styles telling one love story.

Although primarily a jazz band, Identity Crisis has made "Mosaic" a CD that uses many styles beyond jazz to tell a story. Each song is its own piece of the story, each in its own musical genre.

Being a love story, the listener is taken from the beginning of a relationship, where love is objectified and obsessive. The songs then reveal attempts at some form of reality in trying to understand and maintain a romantic relationship. The relationship fails and the songs express the consequent sadness, grief, forgiveness and memories.

The story is not directly narrated, but the emotional arc of the CD leaves a powerful impression of textual beauty and style, apparent at the very first hearing.

The songs vary widely in style, from Bossa Nova to eight-bar blues to art song with string orchestra. The story and musical ideas hold the album together. These musical ideas (a particular bass line, orchestrations, etc) give coherence, form, and continuity to the many different styles.

credits

released September 15, 2008

Executive producers are Diane Tomhave and Terry Jones, with Charles Hiestand and Larri Sims, jr.

Produced by Charles Hiestand, with assistance from Jean Mishler, Don Gale, and Larri Sims, jr.

Recording and mix engineers are Charles Hiestand, Don Gale, Tim McClanahan, and Bubba Jones.

Cover art is by Glyniss, Jean, and Charlie. Design by Jean and Charlie. Photoshop by Charlie.

Mastering is by Charlie, Bubba, and Tim.

All songs are published by Phinney Farm Publishing, ASCAP.


A note from Charlie:

There are a lot of people to thank, and many to apologize to. It's been a long process and without these people's help and support I couldn't have done it. Obviously Diane and Terry, Jean, Don, and Larri were very important in getting it all together. Especially important is Jean: it is her CD and for her; it is a vehicle for and testament to her great voice as much as anything.

Some others that were very important include Melanie Fernandi, Rob Duisberg, John Hiestand, Jim Pilon, Rick Bowen, Brian Kirk, Trileigh Tucker, Pat Johnston, Kelly Fernandi, Helena Stephens, Beatriz Salgado, Adriana and Gabriela; and Kyle, Will, and Sara Mishler, thanks for letting me take so much of her time. Other contributors are Cathy Sims, Kathy Hettel, Jessica Lowe, Bob Hoover, Shelley Simon, Tessa Archer; and Father Paul Magnano, thanks for the direction and the olives.

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about

Identity Crisis Seattle, Washington

As long as she can remember, Jean Mishler identified herself as a singer, but never really wanted to fit into any specific genre. Classically trained, she desired a bridge between her infatuation with all things European and her adoration of American musical theater and jazz. In love with music, it no longer matters that she fits a niche and she happily melds all her influences into one. ... more

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